The Break-Up Manual…

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A dear friend of mine, an amazing lady is going through a break up right now,and this wouldn’t be the first time I’m going through a “sympathetic” phase with a friend and I don’t look forward to it at all. While my friend cries, all I can think about doing is breaking the guy’s legs or in case of my guy friends I think of hitting the girl with rotten tomatoes.(I really don’t like people who cause my friends, pain). It’s a very horrible and physically exhausting time for anyone and I don’t always know what to say or do to make the situation better at the time, but I know one thing for sure: it would pass.

Maybe it’s been a few weeks, months, or years since you and yours broke up, but you don’t know ways to forget about your ex. The process to forget someone who meant a lot to you can be extremely difficult, but rest assured there are no ways to forget someone(even if they died).Through time and these few pointers, I pray you will feel empowered to let go and move on with your beautiful life.

STOP COMPARING HIM/HERTO EVERY GUY/GIRLYOU MEET
One of the best ways to get over your ex is to stop comparing him/her to everyone else. The more you focus on how awesome you thought they were when you guys first met, the more you will push aside any great new persons that will enter your life. If you guys are not together right now, a good reason could be that they turned out to be a different person than the one you met when you guys first started dating. Realize that, understand that, and remember that.

ALLOW YOURSELF TIME TO CRY
It’s okay to sit in your room and cry about the relationship ending. Sometimes crying is the best medicine because you’re letting go of any emotions that you’ve been bottling up. Watching your tears fall can symbolize your strength in slowly letting them go. Don’t beat yourself up or call yourself stupid for still crying about them every now and then – I promise that the pain you’re feeling now will eventually pass and you’ll never think twice about your ex. I know because I have gone through heartache, too(Most people wont believe that, but I process pain differently)

REMIND YOURSELF OF THE BAD TIMES
You’re probably thinking I sound like an insensitive b*tch right now, but trust me that in reminding yourself of the reasons why it didn’t work out, it will actually help you in letting them go. Maybe you guys got into a huge fight or maybe you had nothing in common. Whatever the reason, remind yourself that you were both not happy nor were you making each other happy while you were together. I’ll have to admit, this was one of the best ways I got over my exes: I focused on the fact that we were not compatible.

FOCUS ON ALL OF YOUR GOOD QUALITIES
Remember that you’re a great catch – you’re good looking, talented, smart, and have a great personality. Anyone would be lucky to date you! Take this time of being apart to focus on you for once. Maybe it’s been a while since you’ve even had time for yourself. Whip out a pen and paper, write down all the great things about yourself and meditate on sending yourself positive and loving energy.

STOP COMMUNICATING WITH THEM
I’m serious! That means no more desperate text messages and no more Facebook stalking. You will never get over your ex if you hold on so dearly to memories and communication. I have never been the type to take pictures with a lover, post them online and all that so I really don’t have pictures to delete and I don’t keep messages, so I really don’t always have stuff to burn or delete, I keep everything in my head(I’m a very private person). The memories were still there for a long while but ending all communication with him made me feel like he fell of the planet or something. It was empowering and encouraging focusing on other things.

START GOING OUT AGAIN
After you’ve spent time alone to cry and watching The Notebook with ice cream and chocolate, call up your closest friends and hit the bar, have a sleepover or plan a party. It will be healthy for you to start fresh but starting fresh means taking care of yourself first. Don’t be shy to go all out: get your nails done first, get your hair done, buy new clothes…anything that makes YOU feel good about YOU.

KEEP BUSY AND KEEP MOVING
Being active throughout the day may be the last thing you’ll want to do, but it will be the healthiest thing to do. Sitting at home will only allow your mind to wander and find its way back to memory lane. Keeping yourself busy with activities and exercise will assist you in forgetting about them. Adopting a busier schedule was extremely therapeutic for me because the more I focused on other things, the less I focused on them.

Always remember that you’re not the only one going through heartache: relationships will succeed and relationships will fail. And when they do fail, that just means that someone better is coming along pretty soon. Focus on that and internalize it! Use the comment section to encourage and empower your friends who are going through a tough time. We are all here as a support system! How will you empower yourself to let go and move on?

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