#LipglossmaffiaGuide To Rejecting Advances From Weird Dudes
Before I release my sensei skills on y’all, I want to apologize to every guy in my life. See after my last post, I realized that I actually have really awesome male friends and in fact, they are too cool to be traded for just one. True, some might want to cross the Rubicon, but they always know where they stand with me. There is nothing more annoying as being led on, I wouldn’t do that to anyone (on purpose). And the response from that post made me want to start my own movement; #AllMenAreNotTheSame.
With all that off my little bosom, today I want to talk about rejection…
FYI, this piece is probably tailored for females (I think)
It’s not about receiving rejection, it’s about giving it and the nature in which you should give it. When you’re out and a guy hits on you, the common complain is that it’s not the guy you want, to hit on you. And that’s annoying especially when it’s the type of weird guy in the place who comes over and you’re not sure what to do with him really.
You don’t know how to reject him. My dear gender comrades, I want to tell you to be careful of the way that you reject guys, especially in public because when… Shit!
Okay, here’s is the thing about guys, when you walk in, they are staring at you. They are watching you and they are also watching you when you’re around other guys. So they are looking at how you treat everyone else as a representation. As a sign of things to come for how you are going to treat them. When you go and knock back that person who is toasting(forgive my vocab here) you in a harsh way or give him this weird look(women do this, guys do it too but women are more used to being hit on).
You know, a woman will size a guy up and give him a cold look and ignore him completely when he is trying to talk to her and she’ll turn away. I get why ladies do this and I’m threading a fine line here because if you give a guy too much attention he wouldn’t leave you alone, I do understand that. And I know that’s why women who in the beginning, might not have dealt out cold reactions to people, learn to some extent they have to have that in their tool belt because if they don’t give a guy a cold reaction sometimes there is a type of guy who wouldn’t leave them alone. He will take every sign of politeness that she is interested or at the very least she is not going to reject him so he can keep trying and be persistent.
So I do understand where you’re coming from but I also want to make you aware that when you reject that guy in a cold/mean way, the guy you actually want to come over to you is also watching and if he sees that you treated someone else in an ugly way, you become ugly in that moment to him. Not only that, he becomes terrified of the prospect of being the next person who is going to get treated like that if he comes over to you. (Complex, yeah?)
So when you reject that miscreant in front of you, remember you are on show for the rest of the room and think about it this way: if a guy you really liked was watching you right now, how would you want him to see you? What sort of reaction should you give, that could be the classiest response or reaction?
If I had a penis and an Adam’s apple, I won’t want the person that I’m with to be cold to other guys as they hit on them, I also won’t want them to give them a ton of attention or flirt with them but I don’t want them to be cold. I want them to be classy, and to be respectful and when it’s necessary to remove themselves from the situation.
This doesn’t mean standing there and talking to someone you don’t want to. It can simply mean, when someone gives you a compliment you say, “thank you so much that’s very kind” and then turning and carrying on the conversation with your friends. And by the way, you can always inform your friends before you go out, tell them, if they see a guy talking to you and you give a little tug(you can make up signs between your friends) to help you out of it, they should come talk to you or ask you a question that you have to tell the guy, “you know what, I really have to go but thank you so much”. Or you can tell the guy that you’re speaking to, “you know what, I really appreciate you coming over to me, but we are kind of on a girls night and I don’t want to get in trouble with my friends , but you have a wonderful night okay”.
Just really be kind about it. Resist the temptation to be rude even if they grate your cheese. If a guy is being obnoxious or inappropriate then just get out, just go with your friends, walk away and feel free to shun him but don’t engage with him in some mean way that it becomes something more than it really is. Just be polite. Be respectful. I guarantee you that more of the people you want will come over to you if they see that you were kind to another guy.
Ladies, what technique do you use to dismiss them boys? Men, did I get it on this one?
And that is the end of today’s tutorial. I have this feeling that every female has a bit of Lipglossmaffia in them. I’m going to bring it out whether you like it or not:-). And don’t forget, #AllMenAreNotTheSame