The Value Of Privacy…
This post is inspired by a dear friend, Julian. He told me to whip up a piece about partners checking phones and all. I have been holding back on writing about the topic because I felt I didn’t have enough material. That was until I saw the tweet below. And the first thing that came to my mind, was why the hell should you even want to check my phone. This is a democracy. If I want to you something, I will. If not? Stay the fuck away from my phone and mind your own business.
Some females people will disagree with me. In fact I have close friends who are ex- MI5 relationship data analysts, so I get it. But I don’t endorse it and they know where I stand on that. Personally, I value my privacy a lot. Sometimes even my vagina doesn’t know when my lips are seeing someone. FOr instance, a guy asks me if I’m single, I like to find other ways to change the subject or I would just say no. So yeah, if you have asked me that question before, you have your answer. Except, you have the required security clearance, the only thing you would know about my relationship status is what I want you to know. Comprende? I mean, surely there are more interesting topics to delve into. Like, Tom Hiddleston’s buttocks.
People who snoop on their partner’s phones, ipads, laptops, clothes and bags, I have questions for you. Do you feel better after you snoop? Does it help the situation? Are you fulfilled? Did Jesus give you a golden ticket to heaven? Has the price of tea in China reduced? No? Okay. Why do you do it then? I understand when parents have to snoop on their kids, kids are sneaky little shits and can get into serious trouble. But this person you are dating is an adult, if you have to check on them like they are kids, then you need to get help. This isn’t good for you. You want someone who is with you because they actually want to be with you. FYI, no matter how much you snoop, a cheater will always be a cheater; a miscreant will always be a miscreant. You can’t change that.
I once dated a guy who always wanted to go through my phone. When I asked why, he said it was because he cared about me. That was the most stupid thing I had ever heard. We broke up(duh!) but I learnt something. Insecurity. It’s a big problem. When you are not confident about yourself as a wholesome person, it starts to take a toll on you. If he puts a girl’s picture on his DP, you start to freak out. You see her chatting with a guy who has ‘some’ charm and you start freaking out. Before you go into the debate about how people actually do that , wait a minute, here is a disclaimer: this blog is for smart and intelligent individuals only, meaning this is not a blog for petty and trivial issues. Good? Awesome. Moving on.
If you have to ‘check’ on your partner all the time, then you are not happy. What is the point? The guy I talked about earlier, he used to call me nonchalant because I didn’t question him about the girls he hung out with all the time (he was some kind of music producer, owned a studio and video vixens were always around). I even started to think that I had a problem because I was genuinely not bothered about the girls, and then it hit me. I was so secure in my awesomeness that I knew if anyone wanted to be with me, they wouldn’t put me in a situation where I had to compete for attention. See, I don’t do competitive sports of any kind, I feel like, competition takes all the fun out of the recreational process. So, if I was dating someone who made me feel like I was in a race for his ‘heart’, I would humbly withdraw because I do not have time for nonsense.
In a nutshell, I think it’s a waste of valuable time to snoop through a partner’s things to look for signs of cheating or whatever. Just give them the benefit of the doubt. Let the person be an adult. You are not their parent. A friend of mine asked if I had ever been cheated on. First of all, I think the term ‘cheating’ is subjective(but that’s a post for another day). Secondly, I have a feeling that it has happened but I’m very glad that they were smart enough to cover their asses. What do you think about this issue though? A lot of couples share their passwords and all of that(I would never subscribe that!) Where do you think the lines should be drawn, or should they be drawn at all? Let’s chat.
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