The Review: Beer Or Piss…

Hello my wonderful readers!!!

I am so so so excited to start this new series. It means I get to share my views about all my adventures. These adventures would include; trying out new drinks/food, going to new restaurants/bars/joints/spots, driving a a car/boat,plane,helicopter, experiencing beauty treatments or sex toys. You get the gist of it, yes? He He He! I am super excited about this. And I’m really commited to this important cause, you deserve to know the truth about stuff, lol!

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I like to think that I’m a very objective person so, if I give an opinion about something, you are 75% likely to agree with me. True story. A hotel that I reviewed on TripAdvisor.com one time, got in touch with me and gave me a 45% discount off my next stay because someone decided to go to their hotel because of my review. I mean, the person referred to my little comment! How cool is that!?!

Okay, enough with the chitchat. Let’s get to business! Since I saw the new Star citrus beer ad, my mind has been going crazy. I felt it was going to taste like a Shandy, which is one of my favourite ways to have beer. A shandy is beer mixed with a soft drink, such as carbonated lemonade, ginger beer, ginger ale, or apple juice or orange juice(I mix my Heineken with Sprite, it’s awesome).  Instead of doing a review of just one drink, I decided to do six… because I’m very passionate about this research. (lol)

Note: The bullet points help my thought process, after every sip or smell, I took notes. 😊

Ace Roots

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  • I love the smell, I wish I could bottle it up and put it in my car forever and ever!
  • I wasn’t too crazy about the colour, so maybe I’d advice against drinking this in a transparent glass cup.
  • It tastes like a herbal drink. Like earth, most Africans know the herbal tea I’m referring to.
  • Leaves a weird aftertaste(but not so weird that you can’t swallow it). Reminds me of the lingering aftertaste of healthy cum. Male cum. Yup
  • Would I ask for it again? Probably not.
  • After the 5th/6th gulp, it starts to taste pretty “normal”.
  • My sister says, “there is something unsure” about it.
  • I took it on an empty stomach and I wasn’t feeling anything, so that 6% alc. is a scam.
  • Generally, it felt like I was drinking someone’s bad decisions.

Redd’s Watermelon

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  • Smells like antibiotic pee. I really don’t like the smell
  • It has a very sharp taste. Like a knife cutting your tongue
  • Naaa… I don’t like it.
  • It’s like lucozade boost but sharper.
  • I felt very confused when I drank it, I was left with a sense of loss.
  • The taste isn’t very fannimorous. Nope
  • It really tastes like drugs. I don’t like this shit.
  • Why would they do this to watermelon? This is such an unfair representation of watermelon. You can not even taste the watermelon.

1960’s Roots

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  • I’m guessing these root drinks are generally bad.
  • It literarily could be the same as Ace Roots.
  • Has a sweet taste on the first sip, and then it passes and becomes a horrible, horrible experience.
  • No, No, No, this drink is shit. It’s feels worse than a break up or an empty tank during a Petrocalypse.
  • This is just plain plagiarism.

Redd’s Vodka Lemon

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  • When I saw this drink, I thought I was going to really like it, because in a normal situation, Vodka and Lemon is a pretty wonderful combination.
  • I do like the clarity of the drink, feels like you’re about to take some Sprite or sparkling water(which is a bad idea, by the way, Sparkling water is of the devil)
  • It smells like tonic water.
  • Tastes like that drip liquid thingy(yes, I have tasted that before)
  • It’s not so bad but it’s not so good either.
  • It doesn’t feel like a drink, it’s more like a drug. For example, the first taste of Valium.

Double 3 (or 3 3)

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  • Our mechanic recommended this drink to me. He said, since I liked Heineken, I would like this one.
  • He lied.
  • First of all, it looks like diluted pee.
  • It smells really vile, you might want to close your nose for this one.
  • It is like drinking Omidun(can a yoruba person translate this for everyone, please)
  • The taste slaps you. I’m not even kidding. It’s that sharp.
  • It’s so sneaky! It starts out as La Casera, then baaaaam!
  • It tastes like you’re drinking the tears of your crush who is in love with someone else.
  • I don’t like it.

Star’s Radler

  • This was what I was really excited to try.
  • It has a somewhat pleasant smell so, I was enthusiatic.
  • I’m not crazy about the colour though. Looks like a sick child.
  • Shit. This is like palmwine. But with a lot of sugar. A lot.
  • I was thinking it was going to taste like a SHANDY but naaaa…
  • I don’t like it. I’m so disappointed. Sigh.
  • Why does everything I’m positive about always disappoint meeeeeee?!?
  • And it’s fucking 2%. What in the actual fuck? I’m so upset with this drink. If you like it, I’m judging you.
  • Drinking it is exactly what it means to waste precious time. Blehh

My verdict? It’s all piss…

At least I had some food to make me happy. This was the accompanying dish for this research.

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So, what was your experience with any of these drinks? Did you like it. Or hate it. Have you tried any of them? Let me know! Also, if you would like to recommend something for me to try, please drop your suggestions in the comment section.

xoxo

Here Is The Week’s Catch Up:

Monday

Tuesday

Wednesday

Friday 

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