Musings Of The Maffia: Loneliness Is The Worst Kind Of Sadness…
I do think the worst kind of sadness is loneliness. That empty feeling that wells up inside of you until all of a sudden you realize you’ve been laying in bed, scrolling through their twitter for hours because you miss them so much. It fills you like liquid lead and you feel paralyzed, trapped inside your own body but mostly your head.
People will hear your story and console you but guess what? It’s just not enough. You smile and try to absolutely listen to them and absorb their kind words because you honestly appreciate them and hope they make a difference.
You try to put things in perspective by watching the news or looking at children who are really sick or someone who is suffering more than you. That works for a little and you have a new perspective on things, claiming that this is not the worst that could happen to you and that you should cherish every day like it is your last. But guess what, that feeling wears off, and suddenly you are trapped within those mundane everyday things that you struggle with.
But who’s to say that you can’t struggle with it? Who’s to say you can’t let it all out and cry a little or get angry and punch a wall? Life isn’t fair sometimes.
The worst part is that it might not get better, and a lot of times there might not be anything you can do about it. Maybe you can change the way you’re looking at it, or some of the details, but the ending remains the same: you are lonely. That sinking feeling that starts in your throat and goes to the pit of your stomach will be there to stay. The question becomes: are you strong enough to make it through?