Deep Questions To Ask Yourself To Get To Know Yourself…
“Life is like a game of chess.
To win you have to make a move.
Knowing which move to make comes with IN-SIGHT
and knowledge, and by learning the lessons that are
accumulated along the way.
We become each and every piece within the game called life!”
― Allan Rufus, The Master’s Sacred Knowledge
The key–perhaps a key–to a happy life is self-knowledge, because as the wise Tupac Shakur once said, “I want to grow. I want to be better. You Grow. We all grow. We’re made to grow. You either evolve or you disappear”. In my own case, I’ve found that the more my life reflects my real interests, values, and temperament, the happier I become.
But it’s very hard to know ourselves; it’s easy to be distracted by the way we wish we were, or think we ought to be, or what others think we should be, until we lose sight of what is actually true.
I found this on Prolific Living:
“At the core of our desires is living a life of purpose and meaning. At the core of a life of purpose and meaning is being of service to others. At the core of being of service to others is finding peace and happiness. At the core of finding peace and happiness, we discover who we are. And to do that, we must get over a little irony, that most of us hardly know – much less, know well – the single person we have spent every second of our existence with, our own selves.”
So, think you’re the exception? Let me ask you : how well do you know yourself?
I’m not talking about taking a personality test or learning about your family history. Neither am I talking about your favourite colours, your best childhood friend or your academic prowess.
I am talking about something much greater and of higher consequence. I’m talking about who you are at your core, what most matters to you, what makes you come alive, what feeds your soul and what drains your spirit, and how to know the difference so you choose well as you move forward in life. If you don’t know yourself all that well, you may still live a life in alignment with who you are but only by accident or some sheer stroke of luck. And that, my dear friend, is too big a risk to take, so shall we eliminate the risk altogether?
How? By getting to know yourself really really well. One way to do that is to learn your values, passions and goals. Another is to ask the right questions. Here are just questions that open the door to having a real conversation with yourself. I want to ask you to answer these questions honestly for yourself. I try to do these self examinations every quarter. When you are ready to do this, copy these questions into a text document, quiet all outside distractions, take a few deep relaxing breaths, make a great cup of tea, clear your mind of noise and clutter and dive in.
Know that there are no right or wrong answers. There is only you uncovering the process of building a closer relationship with the person within.
1- What activity in your life lights you up with joy?
2- What is something you always love doing, even when you are tired or rushed? Why?
3- What kind of legacy do you want to leave behind?
4- How does your being here in the universe change humanity for the better?
5- If you could have one single wish granted, what would it be?
6- How comfortable are you with your own mortality?
7- What is your highest core value?
8- To your best knowledge, how do other people perceive you?
9- How would you like others to perceive you?
10- If something is forbidden, do you want it less or more?
11- Is there an area of your life where you feel out of control? Especially in control?
12- If you unexpectedly had a completely free afternoon, what would you do with that time?
13- Are you comfortable or uncomfortable in a disorderly environment?
14- How much time do you spend looking for things you can’t find?
15- Are you motivated by competition?
16- Do you find it easier to do things for other people than to do things for yourself?
17- Is your life “on hold” in any aspect? Until you finish your thesis, get married, lose weight?
18- What would you do if you had more energy?
19- If money was not a constraint, what would you be doing with your time?
20- If you are in a sinking ship with everyone you know, and you could only save 10 people, who would it be?
21- If you die today, who will miss you the most?
22- Are you a better person today than you were last year at this same time? Or 10 years ago?
23- What was your last random act of kindness?
24- What if you lose all your money?
25- Who is making most of the decisions in your life – you, those around you or your circumstances?
26- What is the one thing you fear the most when you think of yourself as an old person?
27- If you are ever invited to give a talk (eg., TED), what would you talk about?
28- If you had the power to make someone vanish, who would that be?
29- If you die today, who will miss you the most?
30- If you could go back in time, once, and change a single thing – what would it be?
I know. These questions are not meant to be easy or comfortable, but they are important to ask and to know. As you ask yourself questions, the process of self-inquiry begins, and at first, it is uncomfortable and unfamiliar – especially if you have never done it – yet in time, it becomes easier. Even fun.
Because here’s what you may not know. Or be afraid to believe.
You are more than enough.
So while it’s up to you to decide if this self-discovery process is worthwhile, I would say trust me on this. Getting to know yourself IS worthwhile. Just do it!
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