#TheTribeSpeaks: On Relationship Red Flags…
#TheTribe is back!
At this stage in our relationship, you shouldn’t be asking what #TheTribe is, but new readers are allowed a little backstory. The Tribe is a community of Lipglossmaffia & PurpleAndPosh readers who enjoy the good life and are generally amazing human beings. The best part of them is their brains, when I have conversations with members of The Tribe, I’m always enlightened, happier and more optimistic about life. They are really awesome people. Our virtual hangout spot is The BBM channel, if you would like to join the channel, do send me an email with your BBM pin at firstname.lastname@example.org
Today’s topic has been gnawing at me for weeks. When you go on social media, we’re bombarded with stories of people who get into marriages and breakup in as little as two months and it makes me wonder, did they not know the person at all? Did they not see the signs?
So, I asked the amazing members of #TheTribe this question…
What is/are your relationship red flags? #NeverTrustAGuy/Girl
Mine are a couple of things I have noticed over the years. And things I have noticed with people, it would have been a long list but some Tribe members have listed some already and I don’t like repetition.
#NeverTrustAGuy who doesn’t treat the women in his life with respect.
#NeverTrustAGuy who isn’t willing to try new things/ adventures/ experiences/ cultures/ anything.
#NeverTrustAGuy who doesn’t believe in celebrating the small victories in life(I learned this the hard way)
Let’s enjoy the answers of #TheTribe
#NeverTrust Someone who believes because you love them, they own you as property.
Someone who believes because you love them they are entitled to your love support and attention 24 /7 and you’re not allowed to share this love with any other soul on earth irrespective of whom they are.
This has been what has ruined all my relationships. And having a messiah complex doesn’t make it easy.
Aguiyi Ironsi, Male
#NeverTrustAGuy who is not comfortable answering his phone when he is with you.
#NeverTrustAGuyWho doesn’t pick his calls in your presence.
#NeverTrustAGuyWho doesn’t take responsibility for his actions, who would rather find a way to blame another person for his wrongdoings. #NeverTrustAGuyWho is emotionally inexpressive.
#NeverTrustAGuyWho doesn’t know, draw or respect boundaries.
#NeverTrustAGuy who acts all nice and stuff,show me the real you. Don’t pretend!
For me it’s #NeverTrustAGuyWho is igbo.
#NeverTrustAGuy who is too busy to call.
Who doesn’t believe in anything.
Who doesn’t have a particular friend.
Who doesn’t know how to save.
Who isn’t confident in his abilities.
Who brags too much.
Who flirts all the time and keeps too many female friends.
Doesn’t have a solid family background.
Phattie B, Female
#NeverTrustAGuy who tries to impress you with money. #HeIsLackingInOtherAreas
#NeverTrustAnA-Cupper. Lol. Okay okay, seriously though. #NeverTrustAGirl who can’t go 10 seconds without checking her social media accounts or texting someone. If you think I’m boring (although that’s not possible), tell me you’re tired or whatever and GTFO and go talk to your cyber friends. Oh and #NeverTrustAGirlWho uses ‘am’ instead of ‘I’m’. Big no no! (PS: I’m serious about the A-Cup though)
Relationship red flag. I have to say, a wondering eye if a guy can’t concentrate on you on the first date, who says he will when you’re together.
Never trust a guy that gives a holier than thou attitude.
#NeverTrustAGuy When he nags or compares you to other girls.
#NeverTrust an individual that always has an exit strategy.
#Pay particular attention to shit people say when they are relaxed … it’s when they tell you the truth.
#NoOne can hurt you if you don’t really care …give them time to reveal themselves.
The list goes on and on…
#NeverTrustAGirl who “so much” prefers to hangout than to chill with you.
#NeverTrustAGirl who talks too damn much.
#NeverTrustAGirl who lies about the simplest of things like, food, places, people, friends… E.g have you had Chinese food before? “of course, although I never liked it at first.” Big L
Type of music is also a concern. And movies. So I guess any girl who prefers afmag to mnet can not be trusted. She’ll end up at babalawo’s hood and come back with poison. Major red flag. A girl who isn’t conscious of her body, her health, underwear… etc I fall easily for any girl who takes good care of her body. Builds trust. I love intelligent conversations too. If all she can relate to is bags, heels, Instagram, clothes, linda ikeji etc, well, that’s an issue. I think that’s it.
#NeverTrustAGirlWho smiles when she’s angry…. She’s crazy yo!
Never trust a Guy who’s dropping his financial constraints a month or less into the relationship.
Madam Creative, Female
#NeverTrustAGirl who is Impolite/dishonest/lacking vision & purpose/ aversion for hardwork/ disorderly & dirty/ zero capacity to communicate/ low intelligence/ socially inept/ emotional & moral bankruptcy.
Never trust a guy who doesn’t give head. But loves to receive it!
#NeverTrustAGirl who selects the calls she respond to when you’re together.
#NeverTrustAGuyWho answers a question with a question. 😂
#NeverTrustAGirlWho doesn’t answer her phone regularly or return missed calls. This is a major major turn off for me because it sends my head in different directions.
Okey Achinivu, Male
#NeverTrustAGuyWho talks about his ex girlfriend with you when you are meeting for the first time.
#NeverTrustAGuyWho is too rough with you. E.g. hitting you “in jest”.
#NeverTrustAGuyWho brags about his sex/head game. Chances are he is over compensating with his big mouth.
And finally, #NeverTrustAGuyWho has an excuse for everything and everyone and never apologizes.
#NeverTrustAGuyWho has illegal jobs.
Never trust a guy who stands you up.
#NeverTrustAGuyWho can’t take or give a joke. Who can’t laugh at what life dishes out. Who can’t be silly sometimes. Who can’t make you laugh.
#NeverTrustAGirlWho talks more about spending than she does about saving or investing.
#NeverTrustAGuyWho can’t stop talking about how bad his ex was. #NarcissistAlert
Queen Estelle, Female
#NeverPutUpWithAGirl who is a pathological liar.
1. Snapchats around total strangers without feeling the least bit bothered.
2. Obsessed with make up and can’t ever go out without it.
3. Doesn’t have any sympathy towards your wallet whenever you go out.
4. Doesn’t laugh at your jokes.
#NeverTrustALady If You Keep Finding Condoms Her Place.
#NeverTrustAMan Who doesn’t speak to waiters/domestic servants/people below him with a right attitude or manner.
#NeverTrustAGuy that uses an iPhone.
#NeverTrustAGuy that doesn’t have a social media account.
#NeverTrustAGuyWho will say anything to get out of a situation he fucked up..he’s a manipulative bastard!
Relationship Red flags for me are
1. A lady that doesn’t pay attention to fitness and health.
2. Fair skinned lady.
3. Bad table manners.
4. Bad cook.
5. Someone with the “must post everything on SM” mindset.
7. Can’t give head.
Never trust a guy who complains too much & never trust a guy who doesn’t want to give you head 😊
#NeverTrustAGirl who comes along with her friends on a date.
#NeverTrustAGuy who says his exes were all crazy.
Certain things I’m wary of:
-If she seems too good to be true, she probably is. I’m a skeptic so I expect the worst. I’d find it hard to believe that there is such a thing as a perfect lady; so if everything is going swimmingly well… Naaa… U’r hiding sum’n… somehow, or I’m just remarkably blessed to have the best lady in the world (yeah right*Eyesrolling*)
-A convenient explanation whenever sum’n goes wrong… #FibberTendencies… I can’t stand fibbers.
-Not keeping receipts or caring about them. NOPE!
-This one is almost a given… Random and nearly frequent thoughts (the unconscious kind with unconscious references) about a particular friend or ex… Suggests she still have a lounge chair in the past.
-A few of them… there’s more, but this Tribe Speaks edition isn’t my personal column joor.
Call me Seth, Male
What about you? Do you have any relationship red flags? What are they?
I hope you found the post interesting. Let’s connect more on social media.
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